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Did your girlfriend or wife just tell you that she missed her period, and she thinks she’s pregnant? Are you surprised or shocked?

Finding out you are unexpectedly a father can be a lot to comprehend, but being a dad does not mean your life is over. Yes, your life is forever changed, but you need not forget all your aspirations and dreams because you have a baby on the way. You can have a baby and still fulfill your dreams.


Regardless of where your relationship stands today, you and your girlfriend or wife are in this pregnancy together. It is imperative to communicate with each other. It’s also important that you support her emotionally and physically. It is not helpful if you close down on her emotionally. Instead, openly discuss your feelings with her. You are likely feeling very similar things. She and your baby need you to show maturity and leadership in this situation.


  • Start off by telling her you will be there for her. She does not want to handle this alone even though she is the one carrying the baby. She needs you.


  • Go with her to have a lab quality pregnancy test to confirm that she is pregnant. Home pregnancy test can be wrong. Compassion Women’s Center offers lab quality pregnancy test free of charge at our Claremore, Oklahoma, office. You are welcome to accompany her to the appointment.


  • Discuss your options for the baby. Is parenting by being a parent, or parenting through adoption a better choice for you and your baby, or are you considering abortion?



  • Do not hide or run away from your responsibility. It will only make things more difficult for both of you. Being a man in this situation will make a difference in your life now and in the future.

  • Don’t pressure her into making a quick decision or try to force her to do what you want. It is important you both take time to explore all your options and that you give her time to decide how she wants to parent.

  • Don’t immediately suggest an abortion or try to force her to have one. This will only drive a wedge between you. You both are parents, but, by law, the final decision is hers.

  • Do not allow others to influence your decision. Stand up for what is right for you and your baby. You are now and forever this baby’s father.


Even though our name is Compassion Women’s Center, we serve Rogers County men as well as women and families. Our male volunteers are here specifically to listen to you and to guide you.


They will walk with you through the important process of deciding what is the best parenting option for you, your girlfriend or wife, and your baby. You are not in this alone, and we will not judge you regardless of what decision you make. They only desire to make sure you are educated on what your options are.


Let the men of Compassion Women’s Center be here for you. There is never a charge for our services, and your confidentiality is always respected.


It’s the father’s sperm that determines the sex of the baby at the moment of conception. [1] If the father’s sperm carries an X chromosome, it will be a baby girl. It’s a baby boy if the father’s sperm carries an Y chromosome.

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